This is a humorous account of the many adventures of a small businessman from England who gets the idea that exporting his goods to exotic places is the way to get rich and see the world at the same time, with helpful tips on how to avoid some of the pitfalls doing business abroad.1 The first chapter tells of how our character goes from being a poor student at university to the unlikely position of bank employee - unlikely because he had absolutely no idea about handling even his own finances. He does not fit in. Life tries to tell him this by inflicting a series of unhappy events on him at work and a succession of managers that hate him. After 10 years of doing a job he hates, he leaves the Bank and sets up a family company dealing in ice cream products and machinery.2 The new company soon discovers that the ice cream business in UK is in sharp decline so they decide to try exporting. First stop an exhibition in Dubai where our character has a most unfortunate accident in a 5 star hotel involving a hookah pipe, a female camel and a plate of sheep brains.3 The story of how the company got involved in Nigeria and a joint venture ice cream parlour, and a first encounter with Lagos airport - quite simply the worst scariest airport on earth. Quickly followed by a roadside encounter with the Nigerian security forces - quite simply the scariest and most corrupt on earth.4 The first of many, many attempts by Nigerians to scam money and getting to grips with living and working in Lagos.5 A helpful list of many of the most common scams to avoid on your travels.6 A trip to Tanzania for another international business exhibition starts off badly when our character spots his luggage being accidently unloaded at Kampala airport and gets worse when a scorpion sets up home in his only pair of underpants. The luggage then does a tour of African countries seemingly unable or unwilling to find its way back to him.7 A short business trip to the beautiful island of Zanzibar and a guided